The Bucket List

Yesterday, before my lower back kicked the bucket, I…

Fertilised all the citrus trees, as it was time to do so

Fertilised all the orchids, because I hadn’t done it for a while

Fertilised the gardenias, whose leaves were yellowing

Fertilised the repotted and divided French tarragon and mint to give them a boost

Fertilised the lemon grass with high-nitrogen food

Fertilised the Asian eggplant yet again

Put out slow-release fertiliser pellets around the potted begonias

And, as pictured above, I pulled away all the potted succulents which were being monstered by the rosemary bush, drilled some holes into the masonry wall behind the rosemary, installed wall bolts with hooks and tied back the rosemary so it stood more upright. (Stakes just weren’t strong enough to hold back this leaning monster).

Then I repotted the succulents worth saving and, as many of the other succulents were showing some signs of autumn growth, I fertilised them with a liquid succulent fertiliser, too.

And as I stood up after moving the last succulent pot, my rotten lousy lower back said to me “time for a spasm, a real good one, old boy”. It’s still sore. Didn’t sleep all that brilliantly, either. My back said things like “you’ve been in that position for at least 10 minutes, Jamie, here’s a mini spaz to turn you over”. Gee, thanks lower back, I can only rely on you to let me down.

Yesterday, before my lower back kicked the bucket, if I did everything on my 'to do' list (which is, admittedly, very unlikely) I could have also…

Trimmed the large murraya near the pergola

Trimmed the murraya hedge near the shed

Trimmed the last of the climbing fig on the garage wall (you know, the bit with the wasp nests)

Repotted the native orchids into nicer & bigger pots

Replanted the potted oregano in the ground, near the sage

Fixed the bashed-up-by-wind scented pelargoniums

Sprayed the asthma weed under the kitchen and bathroom windows

Trimmed my neighbour Michael’s rampant grapevine

Fed the cardamom and ginger plants

Got rid of the baby curry leaf trees at the base of the potted tree

Harvested some limes, then squeeze/freeze the juice

Trimmed the dead bits off the underside of the nardoo

Dolomited the compost bin and checked how it’s going

Potted up seeds of mesclun lettuce

But I didn’t get a chance to do any of those jobs. They’re my bucket list. Not exactly things to do before I die, but they’re things I might have done had my back not kicked the bucket.

Is my back telling me that my garden is too high-maintenance? I think so. I’m going to have to rethink my garden so it’s easier to look after. Now, there’s a whole new world ahead of me. No, my lower-back, you’re definitely not a pal – at best you're a limiting factor who cannot be ignored.