Thursday, April 22, 2010

Slimming down

I love those ‘before & after’ photos in the diet ads, especially those hopelessly unrealistic ones where it’s two completely different people doing the before-ing and after-ing. I won’t lie to you: this isn’t me, but this is how I feel, already.

So far I have lost 4 kilos. There’s still one more kilo to go before I hit my first target of a 5 kilo loss, and another 5 kilos more beyond that till I’m truly back in normal, healthy, 50-something male shape (and the weight I was pretty consistently from age 30 to 50).

And guess what, during my daily walkies I’ve been thinking a little on how diets succeed and fail, and I thought I’d share my few grams of understanding here today. So, here are my three golden rules of how to stay on your diet and reach your personal target.

1. Don’t listen to the advice of friends

This is a biggie. All diet advice from friends will be of the sort which preaches just a bit more fanaticism than you’re currently practising: ie, why giving up that yummy spoonful of sugar in your coffee/tea really adds up; why a particular cardboard-like crispbread is better than the nice-tasting one you’re eating right now; and why whatever exercise you’re doing is not quite gruelling enough to have any effect. When you listen to them, you hasten the day you give up your diet. They are devils trying to make you fail.

2. Don’t listen to the advice of health experts

This is an equivalent size biggie to number one. Health experts are usually thin and often young, and mistakenly believe it’s all their careful eating and exercising which makes them thin, when the simple fact is that being young, or thinness genes, or both, is mostly what keeps them thin. They also read too much. They will find your exercise regime worthy of a smirk, and nothing more. They will recommend even more bland, vile eating options than your friends can think up. They are devils trying to make you fail. All their advice is destined to hasten the end of your dieting efforts through the crushing boredom of bland food and exercise-related injury. Whatever you do, don’t pay them. It only encourages them.

3. Don’t eat or drink anything you hate

This might even be bigger than 1 and 2, which makes it VERY BIG. Never sigh that sigh of “oh well I guess I’d better eat/drink this bland tosh” during a diet. Take that thought as a warning sign that the end of your diet is nigh! Bland ‘diet’ food is just another devil trying to make you fail. Healthy food with good flavour is out there in abundance, and that’s your assignment: find a real variety of it, then eat and enjoy to your heart’s content.

And so that’s what I’ve learned so far. Listen to no-one. Do your own thing. Go for quality and variety, not quantity. And never ever eat or drink something you don’t like. Works for me.


Tatyana@MySecretGarden said...

Congratulations on your loss (sounds awful, doesn't it?)! I think I lost a couple of pounds just laughing at the pictures!

Lanie said...

Good on you Jamie! Well done!! I must admit that I haven't done quite as well - only 1.5kg. I LOVE the before/after photos...and great advice! Cheers

Elephant's Eye said...

Going off at a tangent, but still slimming. How do you display only 20 followers? We seem to be using a similar template. So where's the magic key to 20?

If you've chased 4, you'll get to 10. They say, it is about changing lifestyle, and you are surely doing that! Daily Walkies!! (I'm just Standing at The Computer ;-)

Chookie said...

Well done, and best of luck with the rest of the weight loss! But my friendly advice is to pick the right health experts. The first of the Australian National Dietary Guidelines is: "Enjoy a wide variety of nutritious foods."

Jamie said...

Thanks everyone for your encouragement (and advice).

Diana: I haven't got a clue why I have 20 followers displayed and you have more (ie, 36). I went and had a look in my blog's "customise" options and couldn't find anything that I could modify. When I checked your blog that column on the right side is wider than mine, so maybe they just fit in as many icons over that width, four rows deep, and for your blog that makes 36?